Thursday, December 31, 2009

Dec. 31, 2009

So Chris, my oldest turned 24 yesterday--his wifeturned 20 today--Caitlyn turnes 14 tomorrow. But, I wrote about that yesterday. I will blog about my new year's resolution. I hate them I am ADD when it comes to making comittments. I am good for.....maybe one day, and in some things that's pushing it.

I don't know why comitting to daily things is so hard for me. Its just another reason I hate the end of year and feel guilty that I haven't done enough!

Spiritually i did great in 2009. Emotionally, mentally, physically, and health wise not so good. My bum leg has had a lot to do with it....I HATE beingo off of it and have gotten into trouble because my leg is swoolen because I choose not to keep it up as much as I should. (that could be its own topic for another blog for later in itself.) I know, I should be very grateful I have both of my legs intact! I tend to 'cruise' along, not paying atention to my diabetic diet, eating what and when I eat, and just do my own thing. So....now I must figure out how to make a true comittment to myself. I love taking care of others. Thats why I have 4 children and don't mind that they are spread out over 12 years. If it was just Chris and Greg, we would have been done by now. But, I am sooo glad that I still have Caitlyn and Jenny. But, they are getting very independant and don't need me as much as they did.

I have belonged to "FlyLady" and online organizational tool on the internet. FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself. finally loving yourself enough to take of your home, gamily, andyourself. Why is it so hard forme to love myself. Most people will tell you that you can't love others until you love yourself. i disaagree, or I am an exception to the rule. I love to love others. Not so easy to love myslef.

But, it's time for a change. I must ake care of me. Starting with my diet. It has to be completely revamped, I must add excercise, and get my A1C down, my cholesterol, and need to love myself enough to make it a lifetime comittment. so much for a New Year's resolution. The wasiest way to attempt this is to take it in small chunks at a time. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, and stop eating right after supper. So, there it is....my New Year's Resolution....that must turn into a lifetime comittment and change. Do I have any cheerleaders out there that would like to encourage me?

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