Ahhhh, finaly able to roll with the flow, things don't seemnearly as complicated right now. I did comitt all things previously blogged about to prayer. One thing at a time got a little less complicated, and I am improving mentally, physically, mentally, and Godly. No, I am not becoming more Godly, just hanging around with my Father more!!
As of today, gary and I will leave sometime next week to go get Chris, our oldest and his wife who is expecting! Chris has some sort of car that he needs to get here (he needs a sr22, every state has this) but he has a suspended license, so that is making it difficult. But, like I said before, it's getting less complicated!
I have lost some weight. I am praising God (only) for this miracle! Truly it's been years since I have experienced the scale going down for once instead of gaining or stahying the same! I got on the scale this morning (yes, naked!) and saw a number I was very unfamiliar with!! i took the chance and wuickly hopped back on (something i would never do-thinking I would jinx it, or see anumber that wasn't really there.) But, I was not mistaken, I had seen it right!!
This time it seems so easy. Last fall I thought I had it in the bag...the weight would slike off, I would have it figured out, etc. I excercised 42 miles in just a little over 4 weeks. I have it well documented! Nope,not one pound lost. None gained, but none lost either.
While Caitlyn was in the bookstore looking around, I decided to vernture over to.....um.....the "diet" section. I really didn't have a whole lot of hope, not in the authors, but even my Bible Study that had been so helpful, had not worked. I am VERY serious! I had to commit to excercising, memory verse work, Bible Study, Bible reading, and commiting to doing this thing. The study PROMISED I would lose weitht. With God and my commitments, how could l lose at losing? I did it faithfully. I have it documented and things down in a spiritual journal, and those of you thatknow me, know that I made sure I prayed about it!
SURPRISE, i didn't lose even one pound. How could that be? I mean seroiusly. Frustration did set in, I would be lying if I said otherwise. But, still I prayed. I didn't know what else to do. Over Christmas, New Years, and my daughter's 14th birthday which happens to fall on New Year's, I promised myself to pay VERY close attention to what I ate. I was afraid that having that yummy stuff even in the house would make me gain a pound or 2.
Then there was the trip to the bookstore. We spent a VERY long time in there. I had lots of time to browse through the "diet" books that I was sure didn't have much to offer me, I had already tried with God and I was still not losing any weight. I avoided the scale like the jplague, I had had enough of it. And probably didn't weigh for at least a month, until today. My friend asked me yesterday "Michelle, you look the healthiest I have seen in 10 months, did you lose weight?" I didn't really have an answer (I was avoiding the scale), but I did tell her that I was trying to get healthy for me. (see previous blogs about who I was doing this for), and that maybe I had some advancements in the "mental" department!
With sheer terror and frustration I got on the scale. I was afraid to open my eyes, I'm being serious! I saw the number. Hopped off, said a quick prayer thinking that my eyes had played a ver sad trick on me), and got back on, still much afraid of what I might see. I can't tell you how much weight I have lost, the scale has not been my friend, but I can safely say that I have not been under the 150 mark in years. I was well over 160 when I moved here 4 years ago. And I don't even remember being below 150 for many years. But, today I was well under 150 and just to see the 4 between the 1 and the 0 was enough to make me praise God.